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The work mentioned on this site is copyright of Arti D. Honrao (Akansha). Kindly do NOT make use of the work without the authors' permission. In case you wish to use it for personal purpose, feel free to contact the author at arti.d.honrao@email.com
Recent work Poem - I am... I am, but a shattered dream A scratched wound A lost hope for some Life for another I am a prayer in silence A cry in despair I am a painful memory An unfulfilled wish I am, but a longing for love A confession of feelings A petal in some book of past A budding flower of spring A dried leaf floating aloof Going where breeze takes it I am, but an admiration In the eyes of a loved one A disturbed thought In the mind of some person A truth in disguise A secret kept in the vault of the heart A smile on the lips of a woman... I am... merely a thought! Article - Junior college [Class XII tuitions]  Category - Sentimental She entered my life as a gush of fresh air, as a volcano of words, as a hurricane of emotions, as flood of love and joy! I never heard her call me as Arti; it has always been Aarteee sounding as if someone has just pricked her with a pin. Her vibrant voice still echoes in my ears… “Aarteee ...get up... we have class today!” I rub my eyes, pull up the covers and tell her that it is too early to get up as the class begins after 2 hours! But before I complete my statement I find the covers in her hand and her hand on my neck! “Get up ...I want to talk to you!” Then she accompanies me wherever I go [accept few private places], makes sure that I have brushed my teeth properly and then after I become presentable enough for the class she starts talking ...when the other students join us for the tuition we realize it is time for our class to begin! The moment the class gets over she attacks our kitchen and as she satisfies her appetite she continues talking about what she had not mentioned before the class. Surprisingly enough it is more than what she has already talked! The dull hour of tuition is made up for, by the next few hours of entertainment that she provides. Then, she leaves my house and I wait eagerly for the next day of our tuition even if it means being forced to get up early. She, my alarm clock never failed to make my day! Had it not been for her, I would have never looked forward to those tuition classes. She was company for the two tuitions that were conducted at my residence, Chemistry and Mathematics and both were equally boring for me! But, today if someone asks me to take those classes again and take them with her, I would readily agree! End of tuition did not mean end of the chattering, but yes, as years went by, I saw another, more serious part of her! The outer bubbly girl was equally deep from within. We have shared not many but quite a few memorable moments together. There was a time when we were out of touch but still we knew that we were just a call away. When either one of us would be in need the other person would be there to care and share. When we finished our H.S.C. and opted for different careers the dust of time did cover our footprints but the footprints still existed. Now, she is married and settled in Mississippi, USA. Things have changed a bit but one thing has not changed at all ...even today when she opens her mouth to talk no one on this earth can stop the volcano of words that flow! I know her as a person who talks so much so I am surprised to know that she is one of the silent visitors of my blog. She reads all my posts but has commented only on one post till date. I am thankful to the voice chat facility of yahoo messenger that allows me to listen to her talks, once in a while. I still remember the day when we were having voice chat and the speakers were on high volume. Her welcome note ...“Aartee, how are you?” Echoed in my entire house and mom came out of the kitchen and looked around as if expecting her to be in the room! Recently she gave me a surprise visit and as you all must have assumed, the morning alarm buzzed in my room after so many years! The covers were yet again pulled off and my neck once again massaged! Once again my brushing was monitored and once again our kitchen was attacked. Everything was as it was before, except the tuitions [and I am thankful for that]. Once again our house echoed with her voice and once again I waited eagerly for her next visit. Then was the time I felt sad that we did not have tuitions because that would have meant much sooner attack on our kitchen! But yes, she came again and she yet again blessed our kitchen and when she was about to leave I felt like giving her a tight hug! April 7, 2006 ...3 am IST I was unable to sleep. My mind was forming sentences in my head for the sentimental article and I could think of only one person who could be mentioned in it, at least for this moment. I have been missing her for past few days and she was still on my mind. All of a sudden I sent her a message on her yahoo id through my cell. I had a feeling that she would be online and my thoughts were confirmed when she replied back. She was surprised to receive a message from me at this odd hour. She insisted that I should go to sleep but I wanted to chat with her for some time and so we had a short chat. She sent me messages from her yahoo messenger and I replied from my cell. I even told her that the person who has made this possible i.e. chatting from mobile deserves a kiss and hug from me and so does she, the person who has made this service worth using! We exchanged a few messages and then we ended the chat with a message from her side that though she is not within arms reach she is just a phone call, text message, and an email or offline message away! Today, as she reads this sitting in her room in Mississippi I want her to imagine a warm hug and I want to tell her that I feel I have gone deaf because I no more hear any vibrant voice echoing in our house. I sleep till late in the morning because the alarm of my mobile is not as high-pitched as her wake up call. I want her to know that our kitchen is missing her and I want her to know that I am missing her more than I thought I ever would! Anger management Category - Sensible This is not some kind of online course for anger management or not even some expert writing about how to control your anger. This is another topic where I consider myself to be a student. “When things go wrong” was the article where I had taken classes with everyone. Learned as I wrote the article. Searching for links in my favorite search engine and grasping knowledge from the written matter and then saying a few things in my own words was worth the time spent. Writing that article was really a wonderful experience. The result of the preceding poll was a surprise for us [my regular readers and me] because majority of votes [7] went for option 5 [Try to evaluate why did it go wrong]. I know about the three votes that went for option 5 but the rest of the voters are anonymous. These three votes are from ladies who have attained a stage in life where they are capable of contemplating and truly understanding the reason for the things to go wrong. As my blog is not only read by youngsters it is quite possible that the other four votes, too, were from people who have attained that stage. At the age of 28 I find myself at half distance on the path of realization. Standing at this point when I look back at the yesteryears I feel that most of the issues that were of importance then seem to be so irrelevant now. Getting angry of frustrated at that stage was nothing but just a passing phase. It is true that the passing phase taught me a few things before going out of my life. When I turn to look towards the path I still have to overcome/tread I know that I have attained nothing as compared to what lies ahead of me. I am now walking towards the stage where I would be learning more about life and the truth. I wrote, “When things go wrong” on December 8th, 2005. The difference between the Arti at that time and Arti now is that she has learned to control the unnecessary bouts of anger and has tried to sit and contemplate and find the reason behind the things to go wrong. Yet there are times when I get angry, especially during the PMS phase. That is the reason I say that I still have a long way to go. I have also realized that all of us can opt for option 5 in the poll if we show some patience and try and remain calm. All the other 4 options are result of reaction taken at the spur of the moment either in depression or frustration. So this article is going to be on the lines of controlling the anger, which is the reason for most of our wrong decisions. Just a little of self-analysis and you would know that the end result is in our own hands. Doing too much of it may also lead to depression especially if not done properly. I mean, just do not go on blaming yourself for each and everything that happens around you. In our busy lifestyles we find ourselves giving less time to relaxation, which is of utmost importance for self-realization. Most of the bouts of anger are because of stress. Only if we could give enough time to ourselves we would know that we could control certain things, which seem to be difficult otherwise. This article is not going to be an experts’ opinion. The links that I have googled out would be doing that for me, rather us. Over here I am just going to mention in my own words and a few points how I learned to control my anger. I do not know whether I am a quick learner or I got a good teacher but the truth is that over a period of time I have learned to control my anger. I know someone who would vouch for this. Who could be the right person other than the teacher herself! She did not give me any tuition as such but she just molded me into a person I am today. She started with being a good listener. As I did the talking she listened attentively and after I finished, she spoke [obviously after knowing that it was the right time and I was not impermeable to advices because of state of mind] More than what she said, how she said it did the magic. She gave third person perspective to the matter at hand. At times supporting me when I was right and guiding me how I could deal with it and at other times making me understand that I was wrong and proving it to me. She taught me not to feel ashamed to apologize to someone if I was wrong. She gave me homework of self-realization. After the homework and proper guidance I have succeeded to a large extent in controlling my anger. The first step in learning to control anger is to realize the flaws of getting angry. I am sure most of us are aware of the flaws but our problem is that due to busy lifestyles we get stuck on the first step. Just give yourself a chance and move further. I checked a few sites I found at google and found this one really interesting and really useful >>> Anger management techniques. Just imagine yourself being thrown into one room with the person you cannot tolerate and who, without fail makes you angry. Now, ask these questions to yourself How many times are you going to get angry on that person? How long would go be able to remain angry on that person? How far can you go from the person you are angry on? What would you do staying in the same room not talking to that person? How many days you can spend in that room without communication? Would you be able to clear the fear from your mind that the person would counter-react? What would you do if he does? If he does not, why did he not counter-react? If he can remain calm, why cant you? In my opinion if you are thrown into one room with someone you really hate or cannot tolerate and you do not have any other choice but live with that person, over a period of time the aggressiveness, the hatred for that person decreases [somewhat proportional to the duration of time spent together] and sometimes you even tend to understand that person in a better manner. Few point from the teacher ~ Realize what anger does to health ~ headaches, blood pressure, indigestion, liver etc. Realize how it affects people around you...the ripple effect Realize how it reflects against your own character Change way of thinking and develop a non-detached way of looking at issues Look deeper and realize anger is a result of fear and fear only; fear of rejection etc Keep emotions out of a situation and just look at the facts; you will be surprised at how your thinking could change to agreement with other person Feel good about yourself so you are less angry at others and the world around you Blow off steam; sports, a walk etc. Relevant links ~ Articles on anger management Managing anger ~ BUPA Anger management ~ guide Student councelling ~ managing anger How to cope with anger The anger habit
Poems And The River Runs Through It   Those sweet memories still linger in my mind The chain of mountains, The birds singing their song, The outspread meadows... And the river that runs through it! I still see us walking along the river bank holding each other's hand. And as we lie down on the grass, Interlocked in arms, looking at the sky, The rock sings for us, a melodious song, As the river runs through it! I still go there Sometimes in dreams and sometimes in real. The birds are still singing and the rock still sings. Everything is unchanged except the fact that You are nowhere to be seen. You have crossed over to the other side of the river, The outstretched field of heaven! And as I sit on the grass, sorrow grips my mind And... The river runs through it!       Assurance   I know friend, sometimes life acts tough, as the sea wild and rough. Sailboats and big ships too, surrender to the deep sea blue! Nothing seems perfect and nothing seems safe every single moment is scary and life at stake! Worry not friend, you are not alone, assures a voice from the dark, and amidst the darkness you will see a guiding spark. The sky will clear out and the storm will cease out from the darkness my hand will take grip of your hand and then you would feel no more scared. That’s what friendship is all about! And that’s the reason I am here!!     Drastic Battles   Many a times have I thought Why Great battles were fought "For whom and why?" - Ask the maidens half shy. Wives wait for their husband Mothers wait for their sons But the least they know... Always they wait though, Their own will never return! O! Listen the wives cry, O! Listen the mothers' cry, Ask they now without being shy Why are battles fought? Why! O! Why???   Drizzle   It is drizzling outside and also in my heart Some strange feeling, deep within, Is tearing me apart. "You are missing someone", says my heart to me I look at couples with a feeling of envy! I do not know why is it happening so... I feel out of place, wherever I go. With thousands of people around me, I feel lonely as I walk along the shore My eyes see the surrounding And my heart feels the pain, deep till the core! In search of someone, I wander in the rain, Dreaming of - Sharing a cup of tea and enjoying the rain! But at the end of the day I reach home alone, soaked in water... And my dreams waiting to shatter As I sit in the arm-chair with a cup in my hand, I look into the mirror and my dreams shatter- When I see myself alone, with no one by my side. Sipping the tea I look through the window, outside. The rain has stopped now! But it continues to drizzle in my heart These are the unseen tears of my eyes, Which get soaked in the corner of my heart!     When I feel like crying All alone sitting on the edge of my bed My hands covering my face A moment when I silently pray to be invisible Moment when I feel like crying... Not many, but yes there are few such moments Appearing in front of me as ghosts of the past Memories well hidden far away from the sound mind Still sometimes I see them come And conquer my thoughts, Memories I long to cast away Nibble my mind all day... Slowly the toughness gives way And tears flow unbounded Reflection of a soul badly wounded... I cry, I cry to myself In the sole solace of my own palms I know one thing for sure, No one ever would be able to trespass And my ugly secret would be buried in the lines of my palms. The secret of the moments When I feel like crying. I wipe my tears and shed my fears For the moment has finally walked away All wet and painful, it is gone. I am free to smile till it returns And I give myself to the custody of my palms To share the secret, no one would ever know The painful moment will then silently flow... Tonight is the night Tonight is the night just like the other nights I have spent without you It is one of the nights I have spent thinking of you For the thought of you has never left my heart Though along the life's path we decided to depart You took the way to happiness and I was left in gloom, All alone, with a wet heart crying in my room   Never have I asked you to stay back And hold me tight Though the thought of separation Had filled me with fright But I knew it was bound to happen, You were meant to go And I was meant to be hurt Tonight is the night when I re-live the hurt, Tonight is the night like every other night When I see you in the dream I see with open eyes Tonight is the night like every other night When I wish you were here by my side. For I have not yet learnt to live without you And my aching heart still longs for you And the moments I spent with you still capture my heart Though it is long ago that you chose to drift apart.   Tonight is the night I wish my dream would come true Tonight is the night I wish a star would fall and turn into you.
Articles Life... I keep on telling myself :- Life is not as easy as its spelling! So true! But one more fact is that it does spell out its complexity... Life is sometimes Lovely when things are going our way, when everything around us is so colorful! When things don’t go our way for a few times, it becomes Irritating. We lose our temper on petty issues. When we feel we cannot solve problems we try to elude them. Sort of try to make them a part of us, just as cancer cells growing amidst the normal cells. We know it’s going to proliferate but we are astonished to see the speed with which the problems proliferate. When situation goes out of our hands, we stop pulling our hair instead we scratch our skin. That’s when life becomes Frustrating. We find ourselves to be directionless, hopeless and without any strength to carry on. A time comes when we step forward to begin the journey in search of Euthanasia. But ... We still have a long way to go before our wish is granted. Life is like a cycle. It keeps turning... L and then I then F then half-expected E. But when we are close to another component of E, that is Excruciating pain, we find the wheel turning back to where it all started. Life becomes Lovely. A man is a man and not God (Governor Of Death) So unless He wants us to, we cannot put an end to the cycle of Life. We have to live life as it comes. Simple or complex, perhaps depends upon our way of looking at it. A prisoner waiting in custody for a death sentence or a dove flapping its wings to fly, whichever way you look at it... The Ultimate Truth is Freedom. LIVE NOT IN YOUR DREAMS... A dreamer is an achiever. A person who dares to dream is capable of achieving what he dreams of. But there are many people who dream and dream and dream... Just dreaming will not take you far. You have to put in your efforts to achieve the target. Life is vast than a dream. That’s why dreams end when we wake up and life goes on till death conquers. Sometimes dreams can be like double-edged sword, causing more harm than good. It takes no money to build castles in air but here down on the earth it is definitely costly. Dare to dream, strive hard to achieve but make it a point to keep yourself immune to the consequences. You will be successful if you are flexible. The more adamant you become more you push yourself away from success. A goal not reached should not be considered as a defeat. In fact it should be a step next to dreaming. Failure is a stepping-stone to success, haven’t we read this somewhere? Oh yes, I have and if you had not read it before, at least now you can say that you have read it. For those who keep dreaming without putting in the efforts ... It is not going to help you in life. In fact you are going to cut down on your confidence. More you dream and less you act, it’s going to take you further away from success and that is a FACT. I imagine ... Standing on the edge of the terrace of a skyscraper, what would be the first thought to come to my mind? Vertigo! Why so? Why is it that of all the things I could have imagined with a sound mind, fear is the first one to grip it? I could have imagined being closer to the sky, standing at a higher position that those on the roads, but these thoughts seem secondary... It happens not only with me, but most of us (if not all) that the first thing that comes to our mind is “fear” In all the spheres of life, a common man is surrounded by fears of all sorts. Let it be sorrow or happiness. Fear that we may succumb to the pressures of sorrow Fear that the happiness is momentary and we will soon face life without it. Fear, as we see, is the top-rated cause of tensions. Fear is like a hidden virus in the operating system of our mind, which disables our ability to enjoy the happy moments that come our way. However less the happy moments may be we should learn to enjoy them to the fullest. It is of much more value than the happy moments of a lifetime infected with fear that some day, all is going to end. “Live in today”, many people have died saying that, still we humans tend to live life our style. Fear has become an integral part of our life. But we have to separate it from us, if we want to live the life God has gifted to us. The next time I climb up on the edge, I should be able to spread my arms and close my eyes, giving myself to the moment when I feel at the top of the world. That’s life and that is how we should live... Give it ALL!! Please send me an email at arti.d.honrao@email.com for any comments.
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